Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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