She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize