talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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