What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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