I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
