so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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