I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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