U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
