You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
