One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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