i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
