Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My hand turned me down
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
