Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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