dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
