5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize