Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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