I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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