I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm really into asian looking animals
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
