Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
