I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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