Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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