The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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