You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is Oprah even human
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
