So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
