I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
