you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
