would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
