So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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