I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I AM VODKA MAN
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
