You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize