I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
