dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
