dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
