i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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