I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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