Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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