Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
