you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
