It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
