this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
