the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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