She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
