I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
