He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
