If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
