would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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