Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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