that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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