Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
