Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
