11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
