I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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