went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
