just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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