oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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