wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
