Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
