What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
