Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
