At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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