Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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