Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
