Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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