eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
