There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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